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| A Diamondback Terrapin Turtle - 2016 Link |
The Terrapin Turtle's Great Escape!
The Terrapin and the River Rat go together every morning to collect persimmons from the tree tops. The River Rat scampers up the tree, picks the fruits, and flings them to the Terrapin down below. The Terrapin picks them up from the ground, puts them in their bag, and keeps them safe. But on this morning as the River Rat tossed the first large fruit he found into the air, a Wolf came from behind the bushes and snatched it from the Terrapin. Without noticing, the River Rat continued to pick the fruit and tossed it to the Terrapin.
"WAIT!" yelled the Terrapin.
"WAIT!" yelled the Terrapin.
"Mister Wolf, do please find another set of species to torment. The fruit, here from this tree, is not for you," said the Terrapin.
"Ha," barked the Wolf, "I run across these marsh lands every day searching for easy food. Today just so happens to be your unlucky day."
The River Rat overheard the discussion from below and pulled out the large bone that he carried with him. He picked another large persimmon from the tree, poked the bone through the center, and tossed it into the air to the Terrapin. The Wolf jumped up, snatched the persimmon into his mouth, and then fell to the ground and choked to his death. The River Rat shimmied down the tree squeaking with laughter.
"That'll show 'em! Try'n' take our fruits 'n' not asking. Leave his body here for Vulchas," said the River Rat.
"Be it fine by me. I'm going to cut off this ears first. I will let them bathe in the sun until they harden, then I will soon use them for hominy soup spoons," said the Terrapin.
The Terrapin cut the ears off the wolf before splitting the portions of the fruit with the River Rat and headed home.
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After a long morning of gathering persimmons, they decided to call it a day. On their way home, the Terrapin stopped by his neighbor's house, the Opossum, and invited him over for some kanahe'na gruel. The Terrapin and the Opossum then walked over to the Terrapin's house.
"Thank you for in the invitation. Where do you keep your leafy spoons for the soup?" asked the Opossum.
"Now, don't I have a treat for you?" said the Terrapin.
The two sat together and stuffed themselves with gruel using the ears of the wolf as spoons. Word of the delicious flavor of the Terrapin's gruel due to the ears of the wolf quickly spread across the town. All types of animals in the town began to interrupt the Terrapin's and the River Rat's morning routine and demand to taste his kanahe'na gruel with the wolf ear spoons. The Terrapin dismissed each rodent, bird, lizard, and creature that bothered him. But by the afternoon, a pack of wolves stopped the Terrapin on his way home. They captured him in a clay pot and brought him deep inside the woodlands. The wolves held a council meeting to decide how to kill the Terrapin. They quickly decided that they were going to use him to make a Terrapin Stew.
"If you roast me over the fire, I promise that I will break the clay pot beneath my feet," said the Terrapin.
"HA!" laughed one of the wolves. "You will fall into the flames of the fire and burn to a crisp."
"You fools. With my durable shell I will survive and crawl away to freedom," remarked the Terrapin.
The wolves pondered some more of the proper way to kill the Terrapin. They ultimately decided that they would would bury him alive in the deepest hole by the river. The wolves took the Terrapin to the river, dug a deep hole, and buried him.
"The Terrapin cannot survive the depth of this hole. He has no claws and will not be able to escape," said one of the wolves.
After being buried, the Terrapin felt the dirt around him turn to mud. He started pushing the dirt behind him and soon found himself escaping to the river. He surfaced to the water, swam across to the bank across from the wolves, and laughed as the wolves were struck with awe.
"If you roast me over the fire, I promise that I will break the clay pot beneath my feet," said the Terrapin.
"HA!" laughed one of the wolves. "You will fall into the flames of the fire and burn to a crisp."
"You fools. With my durable shell I will survive and crawl away to freedom," remarked the Terrapin.
The wolves pondered some more of the proper way to kill the Terrapin. They ultimately decided that they would would bury him alive in the deepest hole by the river. The wolves took the Terrapin to the river, dug a deep hole, and buried him.
"The Terrapin cannot survive the depth of this hole. He has no claws and will not be able to escape," said one of the wolves.
After being buried, the Terrapin felt the dirt around him turn to mud. He started pushing the dirt behind him and soon found himself escaping to the river. He surfaced to the water, swam across to the bank across from the wolves, and laughed as the wolves were struck with awe.
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Some say the Terrapin was picked up again from the other side and thrown against the rocks and then his shell broke into a dozen pieces. But the Terrapin sang a medicinal song after the wolves had gone:
Gû'daye'wû, Gû'daye'wû,
"I have sewed myself together, I have sewed myself together!"
And each piece of his shell came back together. That is why all turtles now have the scars on their shells.
Author's Note:
I wanted to keep the story theme and not alter the Cherokee culture throughout the story. I added more dialogue for more characterization to the characters. There wasn't much on the wolves and I didn't want to add to much dynamic to the story, because I wanted the main story to focus primarily on the Terrapin. I changed the persimmon hunting partner to the Terrapin, but in the original story it was the Opossum. I thought the River Rat would allow me to explore more characterization and be a character that juxtaposes the Terrapin Turtle. I also included links in this story so readers could learn more about the items and because I didn't want to take away from the story by adding more explanations of the different aspects. Like the soup, I figured it would be easier to click and follow the link to better understand in comparison to explaining it in the story and take the reader's focus away.
Fun Facts:
I wanted to keep the story theme and not alter the Cherokee culture throughout the story. I added more dialogue for more characterization to the characters. There wasn't much on the wolves and I didn't want to add to much dynamic to the story, because I wanted the main story to focus primarily on the Terrapin. I changed the persimmon hunting partner to the Terrapin, but in the original story it was the Opossum. I thought the River Rat would allow me to explore more characterization and be a character that juxtaposes the Terrapin Turtle. I also included links in this story so readers could learn more about the items and because I didn't want to take away from the story by adding more explanations of the different aspects. Like the soup, I figured it would be easier to click and follow the link to better understand in comparison to explaining it in the story and take the reader's focus away.
Fun Facts:
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| Coypu - 2016 Link |
The River Rat is properly known as a Coypu. They are large, herbivorous, semiaquatic rodents that live alone riverbanks in burrows (Wikipedia).
A Diamondback Terrapin is a species of Turtle native to coastal swamps of the eastern/southern parts of the U.S. They look much like their freshwater relatives, but with evolved traits to adapt to various salt levels in water/salinities (Wikipedia).
Bibliography:
Title: Myths of the CherokeeAuthor: James Mooney (1900)
Link to reading
Austin, I always enjoy reading your stories and this one was no exception. I've noticed that happy endings are not your style. Your stories have a little more grit to them because they are realistic. I tend to try to find a happy ending and when I don't, it feels strange. Having a happy ending for your next story might be a good way to get out of your comfort zone as a writer. But with this story, it was perfectly executed. The description was great and you took me through the story in a perfectly planned narrative. I absolutely loved the ending and how it was so abrupt and foreshadowed the doom of the Terrapin. I think that was a great stopping point and left the story reader at the height of the emotion of surprise, but also the feeling of sadness for the Terrapin. Great job! I look forward to your next story.
ReplyDeletePerhaps this story isn't quite done? I would like to see in your author's note more about the original story and how you changed it. Regardless though, it was written very well. I liked the characterizations of the two animals and the way you kept the very myth-y feel to it. My main issue is the last paragraph. It seems rushed and clipped but I would like to hear a bit more about the punishment. Maybe include a bit of what the terrapin is thinking while it's going on or how the wolves are angry that he killed their friend. I would just like to see a bit more personalization in that area like you had throughout the rest of the story. . Also, you have a picture of the terrapin and the turtle so I think a nice, quick way to round out the visuals would be to add a picture of a wolf. That way you have all your important characters there and the whole thing feels more complete.
ReplyDeleteAustin, I really enjoyed this story. The dialogue you used is pretty hilarious, and you really fleshed your characters out with it, especially the River Rat and his dialect. I really felt like there was going to be a "moral of the story" moment at some point, sort of like an Aesop fable, but there really wasn't. If the original story had one you could use that as a model to add it? Although the story would still be fine if you didn't. I know it probably wouldn't be the nature of the wolves, however you could turn the last paragraph into more of a trial for the terrapin. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this one! It was a good story, simply told, even if it ends sadly. Actually, I have a question about that. Why is it called “The Terrapin Turtle’s Great Escape!” when he doesn’t escape in the end? Is there something I’m missing, or is this story to be continued? If not, the ending is a bit abrupt. We don’t know if he gets eaten for sure, or what!
ReplyDeleteRegardless, I really liked the easy friendship and teamwork of the River Rat and the Terrapin Turtle. It was a sweet element. I also enjoyed how you used the dialect in the dialogue making it feel more authentic. Good job using fun vocabulary and then defining it for us, as well. I wish I knew a little bit more about the background on that dialect, though. Could you tell us in the authors note or the bibliography what this story is based on?
Hi Austin! First of all – I loved the picture you used at the very beginning of the post. It fit with your story perfectly. Also, you did a great job with your Author’s Note as well. Sometimes people don’t put enough information in them but you gave the perfect amount. Anyways, I think you did a good job overall. I loved getting to read your story!
ReplyDeleteAustin,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story. You are a great descriptive writer, and I felt like I could really picture the setting. I like that the River Rat and Terrapin make a good team collecting food. The River Rat was clever in putting a bone in the fruit to trick the wolf. I think it's pretty funny that the wolf ear spoons become a hot commodity. Everyone in the village wants to try the hominy with wolf ear spoons. That is a good way to introduce the wolves seeking revenge for their fallen comrade. I like the jeopardy created by prolonging the Terrapin's death. I was wondering which way the wolves would choose to kill him, and they were duped by the Terrapin in the end. I think the ending could provide a little more closure, since the Terrapin is just across the river bank from the wolves. I really enjoyed your writing, and I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Thorpe
You did a really great job creating a scene in the first paragraph. It helped me to imagine what was going on in the story right off the bat. You do a really good job of integrating dialog into this story. I think it really adds to it and makes it more fun to read. Also the language you use in the dialog creates a voice in my head so the characters really come to life. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAustin,
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell you how endearing I found this story to be, not just because it involved animals but it was also do to your careful writing. You are probably one of the most descriptive writers I have read out of the class and It is a joy to picture the world you have built in each of the stories I have read from you! You also did a particularly great job with creating tension in this piece. Creative writing, for me, has always been difficult because it is hard to create palpable emotions but I feel like you have mastered that skill especially in this story. Great Job!
Belle